Un-STRANDED!

What was the Fucking Point???

The busses are now not going on strike this friday. My girlfriend explains they do this, most times they go on strike and change the date.

Whats the deal anyway about bus strikes? Busses transport people from one place to another. Whats more important, Bus drivers getting a pay rise, or fire fighters getting pay rise?

Gotta Bunk, L8rz! - The Visit

Doodah (Pictured left) and thingie (Pictures Right) came over at 2.30am wiv some bird (Not pictured).

They ask why we bunked. i explained that i didnt want to go to another pub and pay 4 a taxi cos i was skint and so was caroline. I said they could stay till 4am when i wanted 2 sleep. 4am came. Doodah was trying to nest himself on the floor in the bedroom with Thingie, This bird was still downstairs waiting for doodah. I had planned to sleep downstairs.

I told them to go home nicely, then told them angrily. Doodah said dont worry they can sleep upstairs. I said no, im incharge of the house. Go home. Thingie went downstairs and doodah stayed up, the girl clearly wanted to go.

I got angry with doodah and left him upstairs, if i had tryed to move him physiclly it would of caused a fight, so played some mind games to get him annoyed so he'd leave. 10 mins L8r he comes bak down in a mood with me. He has a go at me, i have a go back and i explain that i live here, he dosent. im in charge and i want him to leave. I also explain how much he has acted like a Dick head recently and he gets angry. He then sits on the chair penting up ready to blow.

Meanwhile this girl orders a taxi and thingie leaves with her at 5am. Doodah also goes at 5, and offers his hand to make up. I Decline. Doodah leaves in a stress

to be continued??? Work on thursday!

STRANDED!

Well i'v been informed that there is a bus strike on friday. meaning i wont be able to get to work, and more importantly the pub.

As i live in one of the surrounding villages of halifax/bradford im un able to get to either of them, unless by taxi (Which is roughly £100 to the next village) or walk (Which is 100 miles away from the next village)

Hmmm

Gotta Bunk, L8rz! - The phone Call

Doodah called askin me If i wernt gonna come why did i come "ya fat cunt"

Windy back box

Ok so if you found me while going through my website (www.angelfire.com/music5/jonkable) you may have noticed that i have a segment that explains the Windy Back Box which has currently 0 pictures because i dont know how to update it without sum sort of software (That i dont have)

But. Here is an idea of the windy back box

If u dunno what im on about, click this

Gotta Bunk, L8rz!

Wel i met with 2 people from work yesterday, and me and my girlfriend bunked.

One of them came round "Are u up to much?"
me and caroline: no not really
doodah: meet me and thingie in't pub if u want
me and caroline: Ok, can only stay for a quick drink

hour later Got to pub... Phone goes
Doodah: change of plan meet us at other pub

10 mins later met at other pub:
Thingy: what u getting your money out for? were going to another pub

Jonk gets boared with having gone to 2 pubs and had no alcohol. Caroline gets fed up as she has had to walk around in the cold for 40 mins in freezin cold weather.

Thingy: Rite were going into this boose shop just up here. (As they walk up, jonk and caroline think of a plan)

they arrive out side the shop, some underage Chav bird asks one of them to get her sum fags
Caroline: we'l wait out here for ya
Thingy and doodah go into the shop and caroline and jonk bunk. They run round a few corners to loose them and end up at the pub next door to the one they had left 20 mins ago is its the last place that they are going to be

To Be Continued...

My cluffing finger

I Cut my finger at work today. It didnt hurt... Till i touched SAMBUCA!

i had a plaster on but it went through. It happened when i was cleaning the shelfs and my finger breased over this bit of glass that had gotton stuck to the shelf earlier in the night, at first i felt nothing, but then after i got it out and thought "that would of cut me" looked at my finger and it did, then it started bleeding immidiatly. "Fuck" and told the person i was workin wiv il b bak in a bit. I was on MY BAR most of the nite but changed when i swapped wiv sum1 4 a bit.

I managed to go onto MY BAR and then some1 wanted a sambucca. I tipped it, some went on my finger, soaked through and "AHHHHHHHHH FUCK"

Well im a bit annoyed cos i cant type properly and have been making nonsence txt messages... and i havnt even got any food so i might wait an hour for the co-op to open (its 5:20am. just finished work) had an extra long shift too. Was kids nite and i enjoyed that, I like rushing about.

By the wayle while i was working today i figured something out. Obviously, Every one knows about the 24 hour drinking laws now. Well we surved till 3am today, and between 2 15 (2 am being our old closing time)and 3 am (Our new bar closing time, club shutting at 3.30) Almost nobody came to the bar for alcohol. I thought these laws would give people the freedom to stay in the club for an extra hour and a half, But give them the freedom to go home at 330 and they still go home at 2am. Whats the point????

yeah, before a few ppl on the old times would come to the bar after 2 and go "Ahh lets have a pint. please mate" you explain "no, were not allowed" and the offer you a fiver. but the regular people who come to ya after 2 didnt even come btween 2 and 3 probly cos they couldnt have an argument. hehe. thats why i like workin in a nite club... and before i came here i hardly even stepped foot into a night club (Only flares in bradford, oh and in swindon i went to Edwards but thats not a nite club) since then ive been to coliseum, oceana (Leeds) and Buzz (Wakefield) but buzz and coli was work, havnt had a night out yet. im usually always skint tho and never been to acca so might at some point.

Well A Boringly blog by a tired jonk. Working non stop from 6pm till 4am... And could of done another 4 hours! i was in the mood for it. Havnt felt like that since the shattering, finger disintergrating work at SCB (Which i loved doing... and i really do mean that).

Off to bed in a bit. goin to do sum research on sumfin then goin 2 bed.


L8rz yo

This is the news

I was gonna put this on the website but i cant do it yet so...

BIG DRUG HORRORNESS IN COPPERDOLLY SUPERMARKETS AND OTHER PLACES
Report by Jonathan Robinson and Carrie Meaddow

The Helicopter nightly News said today it can reveal the widespread use of class A drugs in Copperdolly supermarkets, public buildings, nightclubs, toilets, Carparks, rooftops, fields, skys and roads.
We carried out spot checks for cocaine in 31 venues. Thirty-nine tested positive. The Helicopter Nightly News investigation using swabs that detect the horible drugs and deadly substances on toilet lids, systems toilet-roll holders, fingernails and drugholders.The red swabs turn blue if cocaine is present and stays red if none, abit like a pregnancy test but diffrent. They are 106 per cent accurate and the coppers use them every day!

We found traces of Coke everywhere, under the sink, in the car, on pound coins, in sick, nightspots, two supermarkets, a McDonlad's restaurant, Woolywhoos, The Helicopter news offices and two public toilets. There was also a positive reading at the birds toilets at Copperdolly Magistrates' Court, Judge Micheal Roberts was caught. Paul "The Stain" Fox, from Copperdolly Druggie Team, said: "We know that theres cocaine users in Copperdolly, just like every town and city in the uk, so it comes as no surprise, although Wollys was a tiny suprise."I will not accept this rubish from people who use our councils facilities for this but i in't superman or supprised. ''who ever has done this, i will hunt you down''

A court person spills his guts and said: "Lots of people take drugs, i don't, not ever.SHARON!!!" was he lieing'?
Mr Apple from Alsa, where toilet lids in the male and female lavatories tested positive, said:"Yeah I know, great an't it ''We expect to see Coke on the shelves in our anals, not in customer toilets."
Supermarket toilets are open to the general public, If ya didn't Know.

Mr J Siansbuy's said: "We did'nt know! It wasnt me. Who was it. Was it you? Or you? Stop it now."This was echoed by Mr Woolywhoos of Woolwhoos's in Halifax, which also tested positive."We didn't know who done it," he said.
Ronald McDonlad of McDonlad's said he's taking the matter very seriously,by re-curling his red hair and will be running about with a duster and a boom box, and would be supprised if duster didn't work. He suspects the hamburlger is to blame as he's a dirty, lazy swine.
And bar and club owners also promised to step up checks on cubicles. A spokesperson for Binkariddles said: '' were gonna have to give everone a strip search in the streets before anyone comes in, we will not for all staff because we think we trust mosr of our staff''
And a spokeswoman for the Planet mars said they would only take a "zero-tolerance" approach Just everyone that has coats although it makes no difference what ever we do''.

But the manager of the Cerladiaskis said they took right loads of changes to make it harder for druggies and chaves come in. He said: "Where we can, we will removed all flat surfaces and made 'em wobley and bulit a arch in the toilet, the lids of the toliets are bumppy and gross. We can also use E12 on surfaces and on difficult customers, which cause substances to dissolve flesh from the inside and other parts of the body, including the toilet lids them self, so much infact we have desolved all the toilets on porpose at coliseum for a reason of no existence. We carry out random spot checks with a team of un-trained dogs that are secretly hidden under the sinks and at back of toliets. "we do spot checks for a reason, the reason is the worlds going to bend."

Mr Alpaculiculkin, manager of the Alpaculiculkin, said they had a sweety drugs policy. He said: "In the last six weeks we have had three sessions of drug-taking on our premises and it were great." More Coke was collected in Helicopter Bus Station toilets (where the chavs go and the mosher crew stays fermly away) owned by bus company "John Fast", and the Spencer Square toilets, also a chav hotspot, run by Copperdolly Council. All of the members in this article are chavs and moshers.A spokesman for "John Fast" said the area outside the toilets was covered by security cameras, before chavs stole them."They come to fool around with chavs and the mosher loans he said.A spokesman for Copperdolly Council said: "I know, what am i supposed to do about it, stop them my self? but what can i do? iam rally important you know, Take Them dogs away from me. The managers of The Monkey bar and Robertsons were unavailable to comment on the readings found at their premises, as they were high on the stuff at the time and the bbc said couldn't track them down, but now we cant find them either.

How did u get on the telly?

I went upstairs to make some toast (Long story) and while checking the TV i stumbled across this



IT'S RICH! Whats he doing on the telly, i thought he worked at Esso!

What? theres a bit of glitter on tv... and its not the news

Ok, so at the moho, while watching the news i see garry glitter is in a spot of trouble... again with kids. Shouldnt of done it in the 1st place. But While watching the music channel, What do i see??

Scooter (Guy with white hair singing that Really hard Bangy Dance style music) Shouting "Hello! Hello! It's Good To Be Back! It's Good To Be Back"me and Rich have been talking about this recently:

Rich: Hey you can still buy Gary Glitter CDs on Amazon
jonko: yeah rite like any1 gonna buy it now
Rich: might be worth something in a couple of years
Rich: The number two track is called (no joke) 2. Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah)
jonko: what shit? every1 is dumping the music he made... yeah its good but even if its sold he gets a cut. i kno iv got it
jonko: it goes "Do ya wnna touch me, do ya wanna touch me, do ya wanna touch me there, there"
Rich: you notice all his songs have one phrase over and over ```wana be im my gang....my gang....wana be in my gana....oh yeah
jonko: i know. i dont wanna be in his gang if he duz that tho... lol
Rich: Can i put this conversation on my blog
jonko: yeah
jonko: just for the record i had the songs before he was dun for the kiddy thing
jonko: lol
Rich: Before he took his computer into that shop in Bristol
jonko: yeah
jonko: now he lives in bankok
Rich: I doubt he gets much cock know

a day later

jonko: update on a gary glitter song, someones sampled one!
jonko: Theres a new song out that sings "Hello, Hello, Its good to be back, its good to be back"
jonko: its by Scooter, it was on the Music TV channels
Rich: someone sampled a gary glitter song, your joshing me
jonko: No, im being serious
Rich: they reckon if he gets convicted of kiddy feeling, he could get shot
jonko: someone sampled it. the band Scooter (Made popular for sampling the logical song from 1979 and speeding it up) has had their music video played on one of the cheepo music channels
jonko: they dont hav gary glitter doin it, they do it them selfs, but he would of been paid alot for it
Rich: sampling gary glitter thats just evil, giving a kiddyfidller free cash
jonko: il c if i can find it
Rich: he onces did a song called `1980 "What Your Mama Don't See`
jonko: lol

Anyway im still a youngan in this Radio world, so i went to www.mediauk.com and put a post up on there:

Jonathan Robinson - I’v seen scooters new song “Good to be back” on one of the music channels (Cant remember which one) Anyone heard it on the radio? Isnt this a bit risky concidering who it was by orignally??

David Hedley - It’s ‘full’ name is “Hello (Good To Be Back)”. It’s pretty average by Scooter’s standards. As I don’t know who it was by originally, it can’t be that risky. Not to mention that Scooter only really care about the European market now, and most of their singles never get a UK release. The names kind of a little incorrect, in that they’ve already had three previous singles this year, so it’s not much of a comeback at all.

Helen Blaby - It was originally by Gary Glitter.

David Hedley - Ah.. But even so, I don’t think it’ll be that big a deal. A lot of Scooter’s audience weren’t born when Gary Glitter was releasing hits, and although a few older people might cringe, how many ‘older people’ are listening to Scooter anyway? The person who made the music shouldn’t really reflect the music itself. I never stopped listening to Jacko during the trial, and wouldn’t of, guilty or otherwise

Well Folks, to hear more in the situation click here (You need to be a member tho, so join up and then come bak cnd click the link again)

I found the cooker fuze!

Recently bob took the Cooker fuze, meaning i couldnt cook any food. he took it because i turned the cooker on a few times to heat the cold damp basement up.

Last night he came round and revealed that he Hid the fuze for the fuze box. He then went on holiday and didnt tell me where it was... Well i figured first, where would my dad (His brother) hide it. either, 1) In his private Drawer in his room (Bob dosent have one of them) , 2) in the cooker its self, 3)near the cooker or, 4)near the fuze box. Number 3 and 4 was correct. the fuse box is next to a shelf with wires and his electrican stuff and screws which is by the cooker. It was in a plastic box.

happy happy

Hmmmmm Which one is it???

Im sure i hav a crazy Ex girlfriend. I have 4 but which one am i on about. im not going to say which one im on about but one of them is kinds like a stalker.

Im just trying to think of sumfin to put.

While im on the subject of girlfriends...

i was reading my blogs from my girlfriend from before (D u m p e d), on how stupid i sounded and i think in one point i put sumfin like i might take it down when i realise how stupid it is or sumfin like that, if i didnt write it i was definatly thinking about it, and now im glad that we had split up cos of the person im with now, its really weird, in a good way.

(Jonk tryed to get his head around things)

yeah first off if the D U M P E D situation never happened, i may not be in the situation i am in now, and really i would probably be kicking my self now because im quite lucky to be in the situation im in at the moment. we got plans for the short term future and really what we have planned, i would never of done with them others, no dis-respect to them but just the way this is working out seems more... umm, more do-able.

the last few weeks when i asked what other ppl have been up to they say "havin sex wiv my bird" or "Shaggin my boyfriend". im there thinking YAWN. tell me something new... I could. lol my girlfriend found my week spot, and its not my doodah! so pppplllleeeerrrrggghhhhtttytytytytlhafjkj'fjsdl;ffizzle. and i aint tellin you what is is!

how many times do u hear that? my girlfriend found my weak spot. well anyway the thing that i started getting fed up with is that a relationship has to follow a course, but why, im having lots of fun rite now just playing around with my girlfriend, the whole cheating on ur girlfriend doodah is pointless, you should be able to have fun wiv 1 person u can build a bond with, not have 3 girls on the go! Well thats what i think and yes this is changing into one of them weird personal blogs that i will look at one day and cringe but seriously the think about going out with who i am going out with now, is that she has tought me other ways to have fun in a relationship, and keep it interesting.

The words "I love you" can end up to mean nothing if you say it every 5 minutes, if you use every trick in ur love book you run out and repeat ur self till all the feeling has gone out of what ur saying. and what she has tought me is, why hurry up and use every trick in the love book, why say that you love someone in the first 2 weeks of going out? why? save it for when you really mean it because it makes u and the other person feel ontop of the world when it comes out!

Oh well thats the soppy stuff said and done. probly cos im tired, time to party

"3,6,9, the goose drank wine, the monkey chewed tobacco on the street car line, the line broke, the monkey got choked, and they all went to heven in a little rowin boat, clap clap."

What happens 20 mins after switching the computer off?

Bob comes over! But not at 2pm, 5pm, 8pm or 10, no, at 10 past midnite.

does his complainy thing as usual, and wonders about for a bit and packs his stuff up for yet another holiday.

He needs some sleep so he's in bed at the moment... and as theres only 1 bed, I am still up now at 2:34 untill about 4am when he said he's got to go, So to my girlfriend, if you read this and wondered why i didnt answer ut txt till about 3pm, Thats why.

So now im just trying to find sumfin to do. I shud of bought sum alcohol or sweets.

MAD BOB MCMAYDAY - Have you lost your mind? The mayhem continues

For the last few months i have been staying at Castle bobskull, Owned by mad bob McMayday himself, Bob. So far he has

Told me the basement isnt Damp

Decided to put the kitchen in the basement

Tryed to fix the centeral heating and failed

Tryed to fix the Hoover and failed

Told me i cant use the cooker in the basement to keep warm in the winter

Told me the basement is a silly place for a computer

Told me to put the centeral heating on if i was cold

told me i should of made a nice arch in the kitchen in the front room (the kitchen he said he wants in the basement)

Put a sink in the kitchen (The one he wants moving)

Didnt come round for his money to pay the bills after august so money spent else wear till he came bak

Told me a 6 year old hoover is brand new

Came back complaining i havnt paid him

Didnt pay the bills with the money i gave him in the first place

Said i could live here rent free but pay him for gas, electric and water

Called the Water people without telling me and said some lie and they have given me a water bill for £83, and £43 was outstanding from bob already

brought juanita round, claiming half her stuff was mine... then i corrected her

Brought carol round (3 times) to have her complain about the mess (Which is bobs crap)

told me to pay £40 into his bank accound which i was going to do untill a day later when he ...

Made me get an £83 water bill, half not mine

Told me he paid the BT fone bill off (He hasnt cos i still cant get a fone)

Told me he owes Telewest nothing

Taken the cooker fuze out of the fuse box so i cant have cooked food

Accused my friends from Nicking his porn

Removed lightbulbs from places where i need them and put them in other places where he wants them (When im the one useing them, hes never here)

Accused my friends of breaking the central heating (When i didnt even know them when it broke)

Accusing my friends of breaking the lights when my m8 "Adam" fell thru the floor

told me off for using the central heating

told me not to dry my clothes using central heating

Told me not to dry my clothes on the fire

Told me not to put the fire on full (ITS FUCKING WINTER)

(The centeral heating is still broken)

The list is endless

To be fair:

yeah he fell thru the floor and we need to finish fixing the ceiling and putting a door back on and owe someone money but im not going 2 pay bob if he is lumbering bills on me and him wanting me to pay him (if i am not paying him rent). i either pay them... or him.

But im not stressed... nope cos im moving out. Just dunno when, but soon.

Could u live like this? let me know, email Jonathan_robinson_2005@yahoo.co.uk

Im off to warm up from this cold basement

Looking at you like a bag of sweets

Apperently i look at my girlfriend like i look at sweets. Hmmmm Sweets.

Iv been on a sweets quest lately, looking at sweets that i havnt seen for a while and then buying them. there was a nice cart in huddersfield... which i was quickly dragged away from, then taking a swift forward motion to the right, to go to gregs.

Dont be suprised if you one day look for me and im in a sweets shop or in woolworths stearing at the sweets

Scribade doodah, humpty dumpty, You know pharoe's bar is Jonky's

Hehe. ok well maybee not yet but because colin is injured im on my favorate bar at work for both days next week... as was last week.

people seem to be coming to work with "Injury Feaver" from their adventures outside of work. Sounds like fun, mite giv it a try, Christmas is on its way!

Welcome to jonks mind

i was sat at work today thinking about my usual thing which goes somethin like this

"Alcohol, girlfriend, alcohol, girlfriend, Ohh man running, another man running, Lots of people running. In a night club??? ok... girlfriend alcohol girlfriend drinking alcohol, me and girlfriend drinking alcohol, both drunk, Right finished the bar" Jonathan goes downstairs and sits next to girlfriend "Hmmmmmmmm, Girlfriend. girlfriend. Friend, end, the worlds gonna end" all of a sudden jonathan speeks at a moment when everyone goes quiet and says "THE WORLDS GONNA BEND" jonathan gets sum weird looks. "You what" says raymond with his funny sort of sideway smirky smile. "the worlds gonna bend" and every1 smiles and looks like they're imagening the world bending.

Later Thinger mentions Dillio actually doing some work as a joke. It-it gets up and makes a sarky comment about what Thinger said about Dillio working. Before that jonk wasn't happy with It-it for complaining about someone being on a bar. jonathans mind goes again thinking "k-niveing It-it, k-knivin, Knife, knife is a triangle shape, picture it in 3d, its a prisum" and jonathan blurts out to raymond "Prisum" he looks at jonk and says what hav u been drinking. Jonathan Explains that prisum is a spin off word, which is why he comes out with such crap sometimes.

So if you ever are in my presence and i come out with such rubbish, please do ask

Guy Fawlks night... are we celebrating a terrorist???

Right, im on the way to work after watching an advert for a documentary and i thought, "Hang on, if something like that happened in our day, that would be classed as terrorisim"

And when do we ever celibrate that? When 9/11 happens we dont start celebrating by setting off fireworks at tower blocks!

if the houses of parliment did actually blow up and kill every1 in it, would we be celebrating it? i doubt it. Im not saying i hate bonfire night, i like it, people dont think that it nearly happened then, and if it did how would we see the situation now? But i think the reason people like bonfire night (The readon i do) is to leagally blow stuff up... However how much is a box of fireworks? £15? £20? £50? i saw one fire work for £75. So what your saying is you'd buy a £75 firework that blows the fuck up sumfin cronic for a few minutes of fun. Thats £75 gone into the sky, exploded and up in smoke. What a waste! Fireworks are a propper big con. i bet you could blow up a lot more interesting stuff with £75, like a flammable substance. What a shame.

BIG MAKKA NIGHT CLUB

funky stuff, tuesday im goin with work to oceana in leeds. looking forward 2 it! have to come dressed smart, no trainers. Hmm, a bit dificult for me but i see what i can do. Have a bath and so on.

D U M P E D update: N E W G I R L F R I E N D

So, new girlfriend. shes cool. I met her at work, and we were on the tip of every1s toung with all the rumors going around, most people already knowing we'd get on. And what happens when i get bak from swindon... new girl at work, been there since id been 2 swindon (a month) and she wasnt talking much so i thought id go and talk to her and since then it got to the point when we'd talk for hours on end and started likeing her quite alot. after a week of bucking my ideas up and people telling me not to be stupid and just ask her out, i did, with her answering 4 hours later saying yes, hehe.

so that was good. i guess soon we'l know eachothers life storys.

Ahhhh! well look at that

Ok stop me if im wrong ok, and i know i will if i am. Is it me, or when i started out in radio, did i do something that influanced something? im listening to something at this moment in time, and the promos and the output sound... familiar, but a bit different. It sounds like we've possibly made a difference at some point. Not saying what im listening to, but what i am listening to sounds like i actually made a difference to it somewhere.

I know that when we did the RSL for SCB in september we ruffled some feathers, we had some great ideas, and have loads left! but i love this! Making an influance. My voice is made to be heard, SO HEAR IT! Im sure i'l be contacted about this blog, if you do i welcome your call, i would gladly explain my self. im not hitting out at anyone. I like what i'm listening to... Which kind of gets me thinking that i have made a difference somewhere along the way from previous comments and recent actions.

Apoligys to those who dont know what im on about.