Dreams up in my head

I'm having one of them stages where I'm having lots of dreams. I think it would be cool to note some of them down. Maybe some of you dream experts will learn something.

The bits that stand out are:

Dream 1
I bump into a pair of old enemys. They carry a flick knife which they pull out. They threaten me with it but because they are so cocky they decide to perform tricks in their mouth with it. I grab it from his mouth and accidentally nick the inside. I walk to my house and they follow me asking for their knife back. they go round the back of the house and get in because its unlocked and i physically throw one out. Another comes in and says "I wonder what bens doing" (Ben my brother) and as he walks up the stairs i pull him down and have a shouting fit at him. I pick him ip and throw him into his friend. I woke up at this point. Wasn't enjoying that dream.

Dream 2
I meet a Japanese girl. She helps me as i babysit my friends children and also Ruby is living with me. I dont think she is supposed to be perminant but seems to grow on me. She sweats a lot though. When she wakes me up in the morning she takes me to her room and her blankets, quilt covers and everything is wet and shes complaining why something is not working - Its because it's wet. But i help her out and she smiles a lot. Paula pays is for babysitting, my part is discounted though because something i owed her for

It's a shame that in my dream that Paula still finds a way of discounting me even in my dreams.

Anyway i'd better get up i suppose.

An update before i feel all meh

That song has no relevence like the others by the way. Just not heard it for a while. Where is glamma Kid Nowadays?

I feel old at uni when they have history lessons. I feel as old as the subject we're talking about because i know when the BBC was launched, and who the boss was and when it changed from "Company" to "Corporation" I know i wasn't there at the time but Just that i know it off by heart is a bit of a sign that i'm a bit older. I remember what happened when princess Dianna died - What was on the Telly and on Radio 1. The good bit is when Chris Moyles talks about The Flumps i know what he means... unlike most of his target audience. I mentioned The Flumps in class twice the second time today and nobody still knows what it was.

I want cake. Oh wait i have some i think.

Ok i have some cake now. Angel cake. If i had an angel here right now i think i would just talk to her. She might like the company and want to talk to a regular guy. I'm not sure why i think she might be a she. Maybe i do have an angel and she is a she and i'm getting that vibe. I've always said that when i'm upset i feel like this girl is there shouting at the person saying "Leave my friend alone!". This is not weird by the way. It's a little story i made up when i was depressed in 2009 and whenever i get upset about something because

Anyway I just heard some news that's a bit sad. When i was a kid i used to have this friend called Tommy - He was an old guy, i think i went over for haloween once and gave me sweets and since then he'd kind of spurred me on a little bit in live and always told me to look after my dad. When i was 6 he lived on the end of the road with his wife (Who i never knew the name of) and i remember going over to see him every so often. I remembered he was friendly and Scottish and my dad is a fan of Scotland in general so they were instant friends. Anyway i didn't really know him much as a person but he's kinda just one of those people you get used to seeing and sometimes the littlest of people in life are the ones you have the fondest memories of. It happens i guess but it is a Shame. I know his Grandson Luke who i worked with at the radio. But yeah, its a little sad.

In good news, my sister is having a baby girl. Due out in June :). I won't be buying the album because there isn't one.

I think it's time for a sleep now.

Oh just so you know. Glamma Kid had a song out last year called Fly away. I don't like it.

My dad is German now

My dad has changed to German. He's moving there now to be a Autoerbauer in a Fabrik with Lasten der Leute or something.

He currently stands at the airport "Waiting for lift off" according to his facebook status.

Digging and Digging

So i'm back now, and thats another 2 things ticked off my list.

Do the radio show - TICK
Do my Tax Return - TICK

The tax return was one of them things i was putting off till the last minute. I have some Uni work that needs doing now. But thats another "I'd like to put you off, but if I do I will be a little stuffed". My sleepy tiredness is getting in the way again. Last night I actually had a decent sleep and really not sure why I'm tired again!

I am going to put this question out to you and if you get this then let me know... atleast it means someone knows what I mean. I told one of my friends quite a lot of stuff about me, because I think they would understand why i acted certain ways. Thing is i feel like along the way i said something that would perceive me as not the way I am. It kinda got me worried what they thought of me and I ended up telling this very long story that I only tell my very close friends - In the hope they would get it and i would repair. But I think it made things worse. And now i feel like that because of that story which was supposed to explain why i am like i am i think i just sound like a freak and it made me even more worried! GAH!

Now so far they have done like they said so i have no need to doubt them. But I do... Even though i trust they are ok with me i still feel like they arn't. And i'm thinking "well... am i going to be like this no matter what they say?". And also im in the position where i would really like to talk to them and carry on as normal but they need space at the moment. So yeah. Confusion. Thats what happens when you dig holes. You try and get yourself out of it but you keep digging!

Also... Don't you hate it when you see someone you know in the street and you say "hi" and they just look back as in to say "I don't know you" or just ignore you? A polite "Hello" or a smile or a nod would have been fine instead of the usual grump face this person gives me as in to say "Fuck you". I have no idea why they even grump faced at me in the first place. I try and start a convo and i get ignored. WTF! The least they could say is why the hell they are doing it. I think on this situation i'm not the one with the problem.

Anyway Its out of my system now! - As far as my hole... i think i'll jump in now! Or i might just Jump in the bed hole.

My Radio Shows

Hey. Just in case you forgot or didn't know, i do 2 Radio shows on student Radio station 'Tone Radio'. I'm on for 'In the dark' which is on Sundays from Midday (Today!, UK time) which is a totally improvised show with my University colleagues Eobin Smith and Jelmer Lelieveld. It's weird, Random but I'm told really runny. I hope you have as much fun listening to it as we do doing it. Also you can listen to my own show on Tone Radio every Wednesday from 10pm starting next week. I've not figured what i'm doing totally yet though. Put the times in your phone and tell your friends! If you're not listening i will know! Tune in to tone by going to www.toneradiolive.co.uk

Land of Cake Belief

Yum yum. I like cake, because it prevented me waking up feeling like a dirty dribbling slimy wet slug. I think I ate like 6 Almond fingers while drinking my conception before I fell asleep. Rich on the other hand finished the Southern Comfort and woke up with Tumble dryer Tummy and chundered once the relevant liquids clashed with the relevant areas of his head.

The only thing with me is i am quite tired again because my stupid body seems to have set its sleeping time to happen at 8pm.

I lost a tenner. This was before we even started drinking, which is annoying. I could have used that for something good.

Anyway i may go to sleep now to re-charge so i shall maybe post again later or something.

Drinky Post

So i finished the show today which was OK i guess. i wasn't really in the mood for a show today but thought i should do the last one on a friday before switching to Wednesdays at 10pm.

I had Rich up from Swindon to join in and Jelmer from our show on Snday also joined in today. We went to the SU bar after and had a nice little drinky.

On another note my silly sleep has been trying to take over since 8pm but managed to stay awake through the time Rich and i had for the second time today at the frog and fiddle.

My housemate Luca questioned me when i was watching the Ned Ryerson Clip off Groundhog day and listening to Radio 4 extra being discribed as sounding like a strange porn film.

So now after the frog and fiddle having us drink various potent liquids for the second time today and drinking this mysterious 44% alcomohol in a small bottle, im managing to cling to sanity :) Now... Why have i got cassetes? Bye bye yadadadadadada

Uni jobs

By the way... changing the subject a tincy bit. I went for a Job last week as a residential assistant... I totally failed it. Oh well.

Darn it... The story of my life continies

Ok... so i said i wouldn't let things get to me and they did :/ I is my own worst enemy. But i shall move on quickly from this post and some good advice for myself and everyone reading this. You know that person you like? don't bother with it. It's a waste of time and nothing happens. Those connections you made up in your head... yeah they were totally wrong. It happened before and it will happen again. And to be honest you've probably turned something really good down but there you go. Stupid me. Tomorrow is another day... to make more mistakes.

It's Three-ay-ee-ay-em, Three-ay-ee-ay-em...

So it's 3am and I'm having sleep fun so I thought I should evacuate the wordy brainal gloop that has accumulated lately. Which to be fair isn't much. Not sure why really. But the main point is that i have woken up due to:

o - Waking up and being so dizzy i couldn't return straight away
o - Burning my foot on the radiator while sleeping
o - Tending to my arm that lost functionality during sleep and reviving it
o - Hearing something on radio 4 extra that grabbed my attention and made me follow it

Was in my CRM lesson earlier... i don't remember what the hell that was all about :| . Actually worried I'll get kicked out for not understanding things straight away.

On the other scale in RAP 103 which is about radio in text and context i think i get that too well to the point where because I've been so vocal through the whole thing, when i shut my mouth for once and nobody answers I get a brief look look from the lecturer - which I think may be the sign of "Well johnny surely you're going to answer this" and i don't say anything. Plus i may actually not know everything - which is the reason I'm there really. I think half the time I'm wrong anyway which I'd like to be really. The annoying bit is when I have a bobble of an idea so I mention it but I don't give the proper description that is in my head, and then the lecturer spouts a word that sums up what I'm thinking.

I think there is a few other things I need to do... but I wasn't in last week so have no idea what should be happening. We've been having show ideas on how to get more listeners on in the dark on Tone Radio. We've all got some ideas we might carry out so stay updated about that. My Tone show time is changing to late night Wednesday which i think suits me just fine. My original wanted time was taken but 10pm means i can have more fun.

Anyway the 3am title of this does not count now by about 15 minutes - i started it at 3:45 anyway but thought it would sound cool so i'd better be off to try and gain some sleep back.

rant stashion

haha ok i was checking out the key words of who has been looking at the blog and there is only one person i know who spells station as "stashion" haha

I done It

 I completed my reports/essays. I'm pretty sure I've not done so great on them. It's all about the problem with Genres and a report on the Genre of my choice. It's done now anyway. Just need some ink.

So I've stopped mentioning certain things on here... but now i need to do it from life. Stop letting things get to me! Partial reason I've not been sleeping is because of the stupid things keeping me up. Stupid Ex friends, Deleted, Uni work - I should just do it when i get it instead of hoping it will go away. Focus on people who really show me that they are there for me whether they are friends or more. I get so stupid over things and that's only because of other things in my life.

I do think I'll be alone forever relationship wise though, which is always a downer because i don't want to be by myself any more, but i also don't think that just anyone will do. or just anyone who wants to do the relationship thing because i'll do, or they have nothing better going on.

Maybe i should just forget the whole concept of that and shut my feelings in a box. So me along with everyone else in the world are dancing spoons that bobble around talking in jargon to eachother. All with drawn on smiles our faces and unable to shatter the breakable inner box so daily spoon life is always happy with darling rainbows every day. Scribbled happy faces greet you as you wake up every day with meaningful phrases like "You will be alright" and remembering this fixes every problem that life throws at you. I'm not sure how the person with the positive support on the wall knows all this but they are always right - as long as i keep it in mind.

More Deletes

Well this is a blog with a break from the norm. Hopefully i'll try and detract attention to it over the next few days by writing something funny.

Maybe i shouldnt have written oh here tonignt. Oh the life of a creative is such fun because you can say anything on a blog with a monents tiredness whether its just an ironic and cynical joke not and people just have to go with you when you say it's a joke. Which it is obviously. The only down side about positivity is that there is always something that can bring you down i guess.

I have uni in over an hour... maybe i should try and sleep!

Laters yoooo :P

The worst week made good

Before you read... i wrote this at 6am when i was in Yorkshire and was way tired so without editing it which i wont... i may have expressed myself without barriers.



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So its the first blog update since the start 2012 and a lot has happened so let's crack on.

Last week I found out that I was I have been asked to take what was here down. This involved my proper friendship end with Dave, which was inevitable eventually. It took Hayley for me to see the light really. I'm not going to go into why but let's just say someone has been naughty and someone asked for some advice from me, They could either take it or leave it. They left it dispite several warnings from others. I didn't want to be involved in the first place and I was dragged in by Dave and I was accused of lying so yeah I couldn't stay quiet any more.

I didn;t get any work done while I was away. I still have 1000 words to write so after ive uploaded this i'll be on it... so don't disturb me! I have other work that needs doing right after also so thats mega important too. I might have to change uni to make things less expensive for my second year. Maybe Yorkshire or somewhere near may be an easier option. My finance at the moment isnt worrying me too much, providing the right people get paid and I dont go mental on it.

So with everything and travel times it's effected my sleep. I went through 3 days with 5 hours sleep – Not advisable. It was at the point where alcohol had no effect and I was jibbering about things that had no relevance in life. And when I did wake up I was a jelly till I had breakfast. Went with Tom and had a few drinks to places and looked at what they were doing in Bradford so yeah was a good week.

Although the highlight was getting the things with Ruby planned and sorted, I dont think I could have done it without Hayley. I know first without her helping i'd have no food or stuff or be able to travel. Secondly I think I would be really depressed. But she kept my spirits high and which really means a lot. She met Tom and had a little drink before she had to scoot off and get her son. We spent yesterday shopping because she needed a few things, and she got me a box of sweets from the Haribo shop (I Know... a shop just with haribo in) and told me it was to concentrate on my studys. She knows sweets help.

It's weird what she does know actually. Im sure half the time i've not said and it's what i've put on this blog (BTW if your wondering why I am writing this blog instead of uni work its because i'm writing this on a bed at Castle bobskull, West Yorkshire with no internet or recorces to do my report). I guess when you look back in the past you never know that the person you saw like 3 times would become an important and caring person enough to do something like this. I think that's what she's became because I know she's doing what best for Ruby, but she's also thinking about me and I think she know's i'd have probably been really down. I really dont know how to thank her enough for everything she's done :') . I've never had anybody do something like that. I'm going to stop telling you how amazing she is before I reveal too much. I'm tired and vulnerable.

Anyway I'm supposed to be catching a train at 9 or 10 but I might try and get a little more sleep before I go. Anywayle thats it. Go away. :P