Comedians? Us?

So I got back from doing the radio show today feeling mega tired which may have been a result of being at the frog and fiddle all day yesterday at a gig with tone radio. I fell asleep and I think I've gone back into this illness thing I had on Thursday and the mixture of alcohol and the sickness i had already tuckered me out back to being ill, on the basis that i was having weird dreams, my throat hurts and I'm tired.

Someone said we were comedians last night as well, so I'm going to take that as a compliment. I not sure if the other two agree with that because I'm not sure if they want to go down that route. It's understandable though. We always do funny stuff on tone radio, and I made us some cool glasses last night which are posted all over tone radio's recent things so yeah. Maybe we are comedians and we're just falling into it. What ever happens I fear "The Three Cretins" name is stuck with us.

But this might be why now I had this thought in my mind. I have always been worried about what people think of me as a person. I mean in my eyes I'm a regular guy, funny sometimes and always see the good in people. But to others i might just be funny in my little circle, and that I'm weird and really quiet. I noticed that I was quiet last night and for me social things are hit and miss for me, and I feel like i talk about myself too much to others, and I don't know what to say to people. So why not ask them out straight?

There's 2 reactions i guess. One is the false "oh you're cool" and even if it was true could you believe it? because they might be just saying that just because they don't want to hurt your feelings. The other reaction is they tell you the truth - which depends on whether they like you or not which can go tragic if they hate you or if they have this seed in their head that grows out. I remember this girl once who asked me if i had Autism... so since then i was like... OK I'm not sure what to think now. I mean in my head I'm normal but in real life I really am like that? The other thought which i should probably think is "Don't listen to any of them".

I do think i focus on my bad qualities too much though because previous girlfriends (especially one who I believe... because i actually think she is honest) have told me, and I've noticed that my good qualities must have fizzled out. I think though its more that i have is still there but i have a lot on and they will come back when they are ready. Why am I blogging this for the world to see? I don't bloody know, I'm just being honest that's all.

And i hate being quiet! Being around people with a blank head thinking i should be talking... especially with people on my course. But I'm probably thinking way too much into this. I should save it for comedy things like my Mr Bean moment on the train last week. For a while now I've been thinking of putting a set or something together. I know it's not easy but to be fair neither is in the dark, I couldn't expect anyone to just walk into tone and do what we do.

The Mr bean moment by the way - When i was in Yorkshire on the train the ticket man came to collect the tickets. While getting mine out i dropped my new phone on the floor and it landed under the chair in front. So thinking i was smart i thought i could nudge it with my foot back towards me. A guy noticed what happened and watched me doing it. just as i got it back to me where i could get it, it kicked to my other foot, which accidentally kicked it back under the chair. I looked at the man and we just looked at each other as in to say "After all that". So I just got up and said to the lady in front "Hi, can i just get my phone please? It's under your chair... I'm not perving or anything". I eventually got it back.

I think my sense of humour is going to get me in trouble one day. I said a joke today... and tried to make it really clear it was a joke. The person I did it to is one of the nicest guys ever. Dan at Tone radio came in to adjust the settings because someone messed them up and it was distorting and as he left he said "Please don't hate me" so I jokingly replied with "Don't worry Dan, We don't hate you any more than we already do". I made it really clear though that I was joking and I didn't mean any offence by it and i hope he didn't take what I said seriously but yeah... I suppose I should engage my brain before a joke tourettes its way out.

Sleep time. Nighttt.