Brick Walls and 2000 Trees

So I was having a look at what was next as far as feativals we#ll be covering. The final one is 2000 Trees which is in July. I thought i would check out the acts, so far i only know:

Futureheads
Guillemots
Hundred Reasons
Pulled apart by Horses

I feel like i should be doing more at the festivals, especially the last one. I've done alot of radio stuff and its been mainly on a management level for community projects. But i want to, and i think i need to do other things to get where i want to but it feels like theres a brick wall in the way.

Check this out for revealing - I personally find interviewing people uncomfortable which is why i particularly don't like doing it. I get interviewing celebrities or people who want publicity because they want to be interviewed, but the general public - although I am OK when i do vox-pops i really don't like it and I've become sick of it. All my enthusiasm for it is just drained. I'm not a chirpy person when it comes to meeting strangers. If i act myself think i would freak them out and i find this prospect something that I've grown to fear. And being myself is easier said than done because i can't just switch on. i need to be comfortable. Put me in a studio with a stranger, at home or wherever and I'm fine.

Interviews in general - I'm not great in social situations anyway. Im not a total fail with it, i just go blank and im not so great at explaining things. To be myself around someone i feel like i need to feel at home with them, or if i am in a comfort zone and feel as it is mine, i am OK.

My other worry about interviewing is that when i have to read something. I have no problems in reading other than sometimes i go a bit slow (The most annoying thing is when someone starts reading for me... I KNOW WHAT IT FUCKING SAYS... ITS JUST NOT COMING OUT MY MOUTH! Its so frustrating!), but when i read things i don't always remember what i just read. So if i'm reading things from paper and go slow then i feel like an idiot and i panic, it's all just gets harder to remember things and i#ll look totally inept to the interviewee. I've recently found that to be down to the Dyslexia. I've just gotten away with it in the past because i've only read small paragraphs or edited it all to sound like one take. It's why im so good at editing.

The thing is if i want to get anywhere i'm going to have to get past this. It doesnt help when people arrange an interview, i get something wrong so im designated to the studio which has happened at places ive been at before. I want to go out and do stuff. I want to help out more but its frustrating.

Anyway this turned into a "Grr Blog". i suppose its nearly time for bed.

On an unrelated random thought... wouldnt it be so great to have a comedy group called Canary Dwarf (Slightly inspired by Canary Swing, a band from yesterday).

Night