Toys R Us Kid

That annoying toys r us kids advert for Christmas just came on. I really don't like it.

I'm sat indoors kind of annoyed at something but not really sure what. I think i'm just gona chill with a Cherry Vimto for the night and watch 8 out of 10 cats. I'm off to manchester tomorrow morning. Spending the day there with Ruby and back to cheltenham in the evening because i've got looooads to do and i want to make sure that i get the promos and jingles for various radio people.

This house has serious roof problems. the third leak has sprouted in the ceiling. Last month my house mate Matt found a leak in his room, then last week one sprouted in the kitchen, and now theres one in the landing which is a dick.

If you're reading this on blogger this will be the last post... catch future posts over on wordpress at the new blog, Johnny's Blog Hole.

Nighttyyyy!

Post 298

So i'm fastly approching the 300 mark of my blogging history. This year has been the year i have post the most out of the 7 years i have been blogging, with 2009 as the worst - which is weird because lots of bad happened that year and i didn't say much about it.

But i've finally decided that a change is needed to the blog as it's been called "Rant station - What Goes On" ever since, and wordpress looks like it could be a better platform. I've imported all the old blogs to it the last while and a bit so i guess it's time to finally make the switch. so post 299 will be the bye bye blogger edition, and the new blog (With all the old posts) will be at http://policeend.wordpress.com, and once i've gotten used to that one i may delete this one.

Anyway i'm sure i will blog again tonight when i get back for a rest

Laters!

no surprises

So today started off strange. I had a dream about blackbirds in the kitchen and they were stealing all the Cornish pasties from the shelves. I'm not sure what brought it on.

I didn't get the job i applied for. I wasn't sure if it was for me anyway but i was willing to put the hours in and work hard. But oh well. At least i know better for next time. I think once thats done i need to work on making some cash with my editing skills :D.

And on the final bit... ive just got a bunch of books out so i can finish my assignment. Time to go home for some dinner!

Second Opinion?

I'm just hanging around on the web debating whether i should go to sleep or not and thoughts are whirling around inside my head and my lack of social abilities, thinking whether i should have a second opinion on something. 

A while ago I went to the Doctors after a psychology student friend said its a possibility that i have Aspergers as i seem to have trouble socialising. For instance, meeting new people - I'm fine with, i like going to socials and that sort of stuff. I'm not outgoing but prepared to take risks and once i get used to people or my surroundings i'm ok. But on the other side of it i'm no good at sustaining a conversation unless theres something i can personally associate with. making friends that i want to keep hold of, although i want to, i totally fail and rely on other people to see the good in me and attempt to do something.

One of my main things that frustrate me is when i am talking to a friend and then their friend comes along. I go quiet. I dont know why. And its like ive started all over again, the doctor doesnt see this as a problem but to be honest it is an issue to me, because it makes no sense. Some friends say its part of being human but it really doesn't feel like that.

I went to the Doctors and she did a quick test. By this time i was already on medicine which may have effected the results of the test as (From what i'm aware) this medicine is prone to easing it off a little. The results of the test came back that i was 3 points off from being over this line of "normality" which was roughly 1 question, so she said that i have traits of Aspergers but i don't fall under it. Although im starting to think she may be wrong. It gets me down a little that i cant seem to click with people quicky.

Hmmm

When you Want To Talk Pt2: You're so blogged, I bet you think this blog is about you

Random things going on in my head since yesterday.


Hey... Why do you never talk to me! Thought we were close!

This is daft!

Essay... yay :(

I could just get pissed tonight.

Trying to figure out whats up with me!

I wish i never told you. Things were ok before but now i feel ignored and awkward. I was just being honest. :'(

i'll never tell another girl i like them ever again!

Ooh... who's this girl?

Good... this editing isnt working.

Maybe i should make a song for you.

I have icecream and i have mint chocolate syrum. The question is... should i get up right now?

If you just spoke to me you'd see why i'm like this.

see the original post from 2010 here

Adventurous Day

Today has been pretty eventful. Jeeebers... I went to Birmingham for a Job interview. I think it went well. I had a bit of a debate on whether i should have worn a suit or shirt and tie. I went looking casual which seemed to be a good choice. Or i'd have gone to the place feeling daft because the people interviewing me were not in suits and were casual too. I had a gut feeling about it this morning and it turned out to be a good choice. I spent a bit too much on the taxi though so that was a bit rubbish. Next time i just need to make sure i get the train that doesnt go into the city centre.

The job sounds good and pretty streight forward so thats good. Its doing travel news so i guess its a good step up the ladder. When i left i decided to walk to the station (Which would have been an hour) and ended up having a long phone call with Greg and talking about radio. I'm doing him some more jingles in a few days. I got a taxi (after calling 118118 twice and them failing to help, useless fuckers... i used my brains and asked for a taxi number... some of the things i achieve but outside my head it = no points) and got the rest of the way to the train station.

I got back to Cheltenham and did In The Dark and got back home, had some food and after a small tidy up i decided to do some work. im tired though so i'm gona do it with a fresh head tomorrow.

So on that note. its time to go to bed :)

Night!

5 years time

Morning! (This indicated that i have just awoken).

So Yesterday it was Ruby's birthday. Yay! she turned 5 years old. I wasn't able to make it for her birthday because her mum was taking her somewhere special so i arranged work on that day. 

I was laying in bed and i started thinking about the day Ruby was born. 

He'res the retrospective events:

So its Friday the 9th of November 2007. After the regular bombardment of telephone calls of frustrated friends asking "Has the baby arived yet?" i decide to go shopping for some shelves as it looks like we're going to be staying at my dad's a few more months and we had no space. Caroline decides to stay at home and I go to Wickses. 

In the superstore i get a telephone call saying i should get home as we need to go to the hospital. Caroline stays the night (I'm not allowed) so i go home and build the shelves.

The next day i went in to see Caroline and she was in the delivery room. It was time for some baby action, so the midwife got things going. Caroline had LOTS of that breathy stuff and became fixated on James Bond which was on the Television. The midwife suggested switching it off. 

It started getting into the evening, and was dark outside. It feels like it went quickly but it really went for hours. And at 10:10, on Saturday 10-11-07 an 7lb 7 oz lovely baby was born. I held Ruby in my arms for soo long it hurt but it was amazing. I'll never forget the way she looked at me and how i couldnt take my eyes off her, and trying to show Caroline while she was getting attention of her own from the midwife. Luckily i think she was too drugged up enough to know how long that took because it meant i had more time with Ruby, and i was worried about Caroline, but there wasnt much i could do... I cant sew very well.

The numbers of Rubys birth are very odd 10 10 10 11 7 7. 

Ironically, the next day i totally forgot remembererence day. I got to the hospital about 10-ish.

on the 11th of november at 11am when the outside world stopped, I was sitting with my new born baby thinking about all the fun times we will have and how much i love her. The outside world didn't matter, only me, my daughter and Caroline.

In 5 years time, Things had changed slightly but what hasn't changed, is that the world still doesn't matter, because Ruby still does and always will. I'm so happy she's 5 now. Yesterday i worked most of the day, and then went to work on my 80's remix project. Not really as eventful as 5 years ago. I think i was watching Jonathan Ross at !0:10 last night.

Anyway He'res a video of Ruby from now :-)... How much she's grown up!

Post 292

Hello world. Soo...

was the name of the panda in sooty.

In other news I was admiring the outside today. I managed to get through the Lecture today without things going grim. I think i was pretty boring though.

A live set i arranged today half happened, but it makes sense why. We had band Swim Deep in the studio and it went all cool, they were tired though and on their last 2 gigs. It was interesting to have a band in though.

I want some icecream, luckily i have some. Tomorrow i get to have a bit of a sleep in which i suppose is ok. I was only awake for like 10 hours yesterday and could really do with some sleep. I'm just complaining now lol.

Anyway not really much else to report on. Night folks

The Creation of Radio

When god created radio he said "Let there be Light... Programme" 

On the first day he created Radio 1
on the second day he created Radio 2, 
On the Third Day he created radio 3, 
on the fourth day he created Radio 4, 
On the fifth day he created radio 5. 
On the 6th day he created radio 6 Music and 1xtra. 
On the 7th day he created Radio 4 extra

Nice Day

I had a pretty cool day today. It wasnt amazing but i guess it was one of those days that made me think stuffs not so bad.

I was talking about my past last night and its been on my mind lately, plus the other day (From my last post as you can see) i wasn't in a very happy mood and things were getting to me more than they should have, and over the next few weeks i'll have to revisit things i dont really like recalling. The first - my listening history in front of class. Radio and music was an escape for me so im hoping that my recolection wont cause me to stumble over things i don't want to mention - because i know that i will talk about it even though i'm really wishing they never asked. I have nothing to hide. Surly i shouldnt look at tomorrow as a day which holds potential fear, and should see it as a day with potential to be a good one.

I think i just like being around people. Certain people more than others. Just people who can understand me and show that someone is bothered and i feel like im not some sort of tag along. I just assume that if im not invited then i would be tagging along or intruding. I kind of feel like that sometimes, but also sometimes i want to break away from groups and try something new.

A lot of times even though people mean well, for one reason or another dont seem to be clicking as quickly as i had hoped. Plus with the crush going on, I'd just like to get to know her as a friend more than anything even if things never happened than that because she's funny and a really good person and someone i'd like to associate with more and keep in touch with after Uni.  Theres other stuff i'd say and atleast i know where i stand. Again - something i think would be hard to say to her as im not good with compliments and i dont wanna look creepy after all thats gone on.

But back to today... I had fun chats about my voice. I dont like my pitch sometimes and the advice was to slouch. Very weird considering that i was always told to sit up straight and not to slouch. I watched Barak Obama win his second term this morning and managed to go to bed about 5ish. I slept till midday (although i had a call at 9 and i think the woman on the phone not only realised she had woke me and not said, i just agreed with everything and wrote my appointment with her down. She seemed a bit "uhh... yeah" after so i hope i didnt say something odd) and had a message from someone at uni which for some reason made me giggle. It wasn't even supposed to be funny, but i took it as a compliment. Went to uni and listened to some stuff my classmates did and it was pretty cool. I was proud of myself that not only was my version of links picked, but was pleased with how i sounded, especially because i felt i sounded natural with a script that wasnt mine, and the dyslexia didnt get too much in the way.

Had fun doing the show and because i was productive in the time i couldnt sleep last night i came to uni with some new (But weird) things for the show which made a few people giggle. To be totally honest if i can make others smile that makes me feel a bit happier. I need more days like this. Days where i can sleep half of it and get all the good in a big splodge. Im finding that i am tired alot and that can effect what mood im in.

Anyway bit long but it gets it off my chest. Its not everything... i hae to save some stuff for real people, i just havnt had the chance to do it yet.

Good Nighty!

I want my rock!

Could do with my rock to talk to right now, set my head straight and have a bit of a smile, but i think shes doing things. My life always seems to be full of un-level situations. Either something i want but cant have it or something that i dont want and cant shake it off. I just want stuff to tally up.  Sometimes when i try to explain to people its like "well its part of being human" but I've been through shit loads and i never ever complain. I just want someone to get it. If its not other people then its gotta be me rite?

I always end up doing something silly or doing the worst thing in a situation. I have to see a person about stuff at uni on Monday. Wrecking my radio drama lesson grr.